Week 7: Why Didn't You Save Me?
My little sister came knocking on my door in the middle of the night asking to sleep with me. I opened the door and found myself staring at darkness. I heard the toilet flush. I made my way to the bathroom. There was no one there. I stood watching the toilet bowl fill with water when I realized this wasn't a dream mourning my little sister's murderer; right here in the bathroom.
Now when I hear my sister, I try to ignore her. She always comes at night asking to sleep with me. Sometimes she doesn't bother to knock. She just comes in. I tell her to sleep in her own bed, but she tells me that her bed is gone. I tell her that I am trying to sleep, and she tells me that she can't ever sleep. She doesn't stop talking when we lay there together. She asks me why I wasn't there to save her. I tell her that I would be dead too. She asks why that would be so bad. I tell her that I don't want to die because I have so much I haven't done yet. She tells me that she didn't want to die either. I tell her to not be selfish. She tells me that I was selfish. She tells me how alone she is and that I am the only person that can see and hear her. She asks me why mom and dad don't see her. I tell her I don't know. She asks me why she doesn't talk about me anymore. I tell her that it is too painful for all of us. She asks me why it is painful to talk about her when she is still here. I tell her it is because she isn't living, she is dead. This makes her cry. We talk about the same things every night.
I blamed myself for her murder. I am confused why things happened this why. I thought she would be in heaven or waiting in her grave or something. But she is moping around Earth, a lonely soul. So I carry on my duties of being a good big sister and keep her company. I wonder if I will be like her when I die, all alone. Or will we have each other? I hope it will be a while until I figure out.
Last night, I asked her to pretend like nothing happened, and I can still hang out with her and drive her places. I thought I lost my best friend, but she is still here. She will be my little secret. Today, we will be driving to the mall. She is in my passenger's seat singling along to our favorite songs on the radio.
**Sorry, that was kinda long, but I got carried away in the though that this could happen....
Now when I hear my sister, I try to ignore her. She always comes at night asking to sleep with me. Sometimes she doesn't bother to knock. She just comes in. I tell her to sleep in her own bed, but she tells me that her bed is gone. I tell her that I am trying to sleep, and she tells me that she can't ever sleep. She doesn't stop talking when we lay there together. She asks me why I wasn't there to save her. I tell her that I would be dead too. She asks why that would be so bad. I tell her that I don't want to die because I have so much I haven't done yet. She tells me that she didn't want to die either. I tell her to not be selfish. She tells me that I was selfish. She tells me how alone she is and that I am the only person that can see and hear her. She asks me why mom and dad don't see her. I tell her I don't know. She asks me why she doesn't talk about me anymore. I tell her that it is too painful for all of us. She asks me why it is painful to talk about her when she is still here. I tell her it is because she isn't living, she is dead. This makes her cry. We talk about the same things every night.
I blamed myself for her murder. I am confused why things happened this why. I thought she would be in heaven or waiting in her grave or something. But she is moping around Earth, a lonely soul. So I carry on my duties of being a good big sister and keep her company. I wonder if I will be like her when I die, all alone. Or will we have each other? I hope it will be a while until I figure out.
Last night, I asked her to pretend like nothing happened, and I can still hang out with her and drive her places. I thought I lost my best friend, but she is still here. She will be my little secret. Today, we will be driving to the mall. She is in my passenger's seat singling along to our favorite songs on the radio.
**Sorry, that was kinda long, but I got carried away in the though that this could happen....
Comments
Post a Comment